White Knuckled
by Unsocialite
Summary: Red. It was the color of blood and violence; it was the color of regret that trailed behind her. So it only made sense that it would be crimson eyes that would have some hold over her. Dammit, she was seriously regretting making that damned deal.
1. Chapter 1

Well...

Disclaimer: I don't own, you no sue.

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><p>Utsuro Neikan stared at the toddler drolly, pulling her hood down. He flinched before avoiding her gaze and twiddling with his thumbs. Her patience was becoming slowly tested and she made that known with a menacing tilt of the head, causing her bangs to brush to the side and expose her eyes. The ruler began to sweat as charcoal eyes stared at him listlessly.<p>

The tiny man broke.

"Okay, okay! They're almost here!" He looked around nervously as he shrieked for Botan to hurry up. Ten seconds later the not-so-grim Reaper appeared with the infamous and disbanded Reikai Tantei in tow before noticing the woman in the room. Blanching, she hastily pushed the boys into the room and fled to "do her job" while Utsuro deliberately pulled her hood back up.

"Why did you bring us back, binky breath? We were—"

The one with oil slicked hair started angrily before cutting himself off, his gaze falling upon the cloaked figure in the room who had yet to look at the troupe. "Who's he?"

His blunt question was met with a sigh from the ruler and a shake of the head. "Be more respectful, Yusuke. _She_ is your temporary teammate." The room lapsed into a tense silence while the apparently newly-reformed group digested the unexpected news, only to be broken by a light voice.

"I decline." Heads swiveled to the apparent female as she stood up and lightly dusted herself off. "Fight your own battles."

The ruler sputtered before becoming slightly irritated, "You can't ignore this, Nei—!" A harsh glare froze the prince and a menacing aura befell the room as the female took a step toward him as he quickly backtracked. "You need to—"

"I need to do nothing. I owe you nothing." The boys warily looked between the two, preparing for an attack.

"But I would owe _you_ one!" This captured the her attention. "Anything. I would owe you anything with no reservations." She paused, cocking her head as another tense silence enveloped the room. The other occupants in the room goggled at the offer, even the red-eyed yokai, and began to contemplate what would make the prince so desperate to make such a fool-hardy offer. Her face was cloaked in shadow—Koenma shivered at the thought of her dead eyes—as she thought over the proposal, weighing the possibilities.

Deciding that the gain—an IOU from the Reikai ruler—was worth more than any loss, she nodded her head. "Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer still applies, lovely/handsome readers.

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><p>Nodding once to Koenma, Utsuro began to make her way out of the room and passed the shocked troupe of males before the annoying voice halted her. "You can't leave, we haven't gone over the details!"<p>

Keeping her back to the occupants of the room, she smirked slightly. "You forget that I have my ears to the ground,_ Prince_," she made the regal title sound like a putrid curse. "I don't need you to tell me what you're going to do—everyone already knows. Unlike you, I am purposely transparent—I'll be back with my things." With that she left the room, the door shutting inaudibly as the irritated group of young men glared at Koenma.

He gulped at the fierce looks but couldn't help but feel relieved that Neikan was gone. Sighing, he began to explain, "The Makai is having troubles as you all well know… As the Dark Tournament grows closer, a few of my father's spies have found that there is a group of rebel demons planning to enter—and they are unimaginably strong. If they do not win—which they will unless you stop them—then they have plans to take over the Makai. We do not know the specifics, but what we _have_ heard leads us to believe that it will be done successfully."

"And why is this any of our business? You said that we were finished after the _last_ time there was supposed to be a 'hostile takeover'—which didn't even happen!" Yusuke scowled as he remembered how angry Keiko had been when he was gone for _months_ for the last Makai Tournament, and he was sure his former teammates suffered similar reactions.

"There are threats such as these every time a Tournament comes around, and nothing comes to fruition, Koenma. No attempts have been anywhere near successful," Kurama reminded the toddler.

"These are not idle threats! These demons have been sucking souls to gain power and it is only a matter of time before they are strong enough for a hostile takeover! I promise this will be the last time I ask this of you!" His chubby face became flushed in his distress.

"There are always murmurings of such things," Kurama dismissed. "How do you know that this threat is real?"

"And you said _last time_ that that would be the last time you called on us," Yusuke added irately.

"Why else would _Utsuro Neikan,"_ he heavily emphasized the name whilst ignoring Yusuke, "Come to make me aware of the dire issue?"

The two sets of eyes quickly pinned the prince to his desk. "That was _her?"_ Kurama asked in a tight voice as Hiei's eyes narrowed into slits. He had to resist the urge to make heads roll with his katana when he realized they were meant to work with the cursed child.

"Fool. You are playing with fire," he spat, unwilling to go along with the prince's plan. The woman had been right—Koenma's plans were easily predictable, the current one involving everyone living in close quarters. And the last people to be near the cursed child for an extended period were corpses.

As if their lives needed _more_ danger.

"Hey! Who is this Utsuri Nekai?" The other occupants of the room, minus Kuwabara, turned to him incredulously. Hiei muttered under his breath sweet nothings of stupid detectives and dumbasses.

_"Utsuro Neikan_," again with the damn emphasis, "Is… Well, I'd say S-Class, but it's impossible to tell. Anyone who has gotten near enough to her has died; then again, so much legend and mystery shroud her it is difficult to know much of anything about her, so I can't quite say that _all_ whom have met her have died. That's why you were never sent to retrieve her."

"Then how do you know her name," Yusuke asked, his tone that of an annoying smartass.

"Because she is one of the most feared demons in the Makai. What little we _can _gather is that she is a powerful demon of mixed race—one of the Forbidden Children."

"Though," Kurama continued for Koenma, "She has been in seclusion for the last fifty or so years. Those who knew her prior to that time are not… available for comment."

"The odd thing about her, however, is the fact that she is so exponentially powerful." Koenma paused thoughtfully, "Well, she must be in order to cause so many rumored deaths. Unlike other Forbidden Children, though, she has an immense fountain of power that has been unseen—from what we can tell."

"Which isn't much," Yusuke crabbily added.

The menacing aura of a pissed off Jagan wielder permeated the air with murderous intent and caused the prince to quickly backtrack. "She was born of two opposite elements: fire and water. The two are natural enemies, so it is a wonder how she was conceived. We believe that that is the cause of her unexpected power."

Kurama took the lead from the toddler. "Water elementals are naturally easygoing, their only issue tending to be fire elementals. For some reason the two seem to clash."

"That's because fire yokai are bastardized backbiters," a rough voice intervened in the conversation. Everyone turned, startled, to see that the intruder was a cloaked figure. "Then again, water yokai are pathetic pacifists."

"Ah, welcome back, Utsuro." He ignored the shocked faces that graced the male's faces. "Now, onto the living arrangements—"

"I'm not living with these weaklings. I have my stipulations, I suggest you heed them."

"There is no room for argument—"

"Do you want me to kill everyone in the vicinity?"

"No, but—!"

"Then I will live on my own."

"You will be targeted—"

"Do you doubt my abilities?" Neikan's voice stayed low and even, but the malicious undercurrent was there. The previously flustered and flushed toddler attempted—vainly—to calm himself in response.

"You will stay _near_ them, then."

The figure turned to the other occupants of the room. Her hood stayed over her head, but it did not cover her prominent cheekbones or sunken cheeks like it had previously. A collective grimace was shared between the males at the sickly appearance she had—could this _really_ be the terror of the Makai?

"Get out your damn questions so I can leave." The discontent and annoyance she felt filled the room tangibly.

"Why did you come out of seclusion?" Kurama, the only one with quick enough wit, started with.

"If they continue to live, it will be open season for my soul soon enough. I'd rather not have the trouble."

"Why did you agree to work with us?"

"Did you _hear_ what he offered?"

"Will you try to kill us?"

Her aura became tinged with a bit of wicked intent. "I would not try, I would succeed. Unless you don't follow the ground rules, however, I see no reason to bother."

"Hey! We're pretty—" Kuwabara's angry rant was cut off harshly.

"Shut the fuck up. I don't give a shit about any of you. I am here for my own reasons, and it will remain that way."

She turned back to Koenma. "Portal. Now." The former Rekai Tantei—minus Hiei—looked at her, shocked by her terse command.

"My patience is wearing thin, _Prince."_ The words were hissed between clenched teeth as her aura flared agitation, though outwardly she appeared calm. Her grip on her light knapsack was loose and her posture was slightly slouched. For all intents and purposes she didn't look so fearsome, yet she seemed to pull a reaction from everyone in the room. Koenma quickly pulled up the portal. "Give them the ground rules, brat." With that, her presence and accompanying tension left the room.

Strangely enough, at the insult the prince relaxed. "Well, at least she isn't mad anymore." Everyone looked at him incredulously. "You'll be able to tell by the time the tournament nears… hopefully. Regardless, there _are _some ground rules involving her." Hiei snorted before beginning to leave the room. "These are for your own safety!" Again, everyone faced him with disbelieving visages, causing the toddler to sigh heavily. "Essentially, you all are to ignore her existence: do not talk to her, touch her, or go near her. She says that otherwise, she cannot guarantee that she won't kill you." Cough. "Easy enough for you all to understand, correct? Good."

In a whirlwind of familiar nausea and tugging, the group was back at the temple of Genkai. Awaiting them was Neikan, who immediately turned to Kurama, "I will be in the forest. If it is life or death, call for _Utsuro_." With that she left, dissipating the tension.

Hiei scoffed. "I don't see why we need the onna." Kurama gave him a side look but said nothing. Everyone but the two went inside to pick their respective rooms.

"Hiei, what is bothering you about this? I am aware that you don't want to be away from Mukuro, but I don't think that is it.…" Kurama looked at his friend, his piercing green eyes dissecting the fire yokai's response.

He narrowed his eyes at the assumption. "I have no pull towards Mukuro." Kurama let the statement slide, but continued to wait patiently for what concerned his friend. His efforts were wasted when Hiei disappeared. Sighing, he turned and went into the temple, ignoring the explosion that resounded throughout the forest.

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><p>Neikan fell to her knees, gasping for breath. As soon as she had deemed herself far enough away from the males, she had released all of the energy that had been boiling within her. The sudden rush of emotions was not going to bode well for her; at least in the Makai, even the D-class demons knew to stay away from her malevolent presence. It was obvious that the former Spirit Detectives were not going to leave her be—except for, perhaps, Jaganshi. Slowly her shaking began to subside as her energy left her, forcing her to her hands and knees.<p>

"Pathetic."

Well, damn. She had to be wrong at some point that day.

"Yet we are not so different, Jaganshi." She shakily stood, not bothering to make a grab for her cloak. Making sure her bangs covered her eyes, she continued. "But perhaps you are more pathetic." Expecting it, she didn't flinch when the cold metal of a katana was at her neck, so she continued, "After all, you are still in subjugation to your past. That is the source of the bond between you and Lord Mukuro, no?" Carefully focusing her energy to her hand she lit on fire and began moved to touch the katana. Before contact could be made, it was hastily removed before the metal could melt. Not allowing her expression to portray her smug feelings, she turned toward Hiei.

"You know nothing," he hissed between clenched teeth.

"Neither do you," Neikan countered easily, thankful that she had released her pent up emotions prior to this ordeal with the infuriating yokai. "So I suggest you leave me be."


	3. Chapter 3

Two figures emerged from the forest at a leisurely pace before the shorter of the two halted other. He sent a questioning look, spreading out his senses as he complied, only to grin wickedly. A familiar cloaked figure approached them before it was tackled to the ground by the taller of the two. Sighing before smiling, the shorter yokai approached the pair before hauling the excitable red-head off of the figure and hugging it gently.

"Why the fuck are you two here?" Though asked coarsely, the duo heard the barely discernible smile.

"We came to visit Team Urameshi. We were unsure if the rumors of you joining them were true, however…" Touya's voice was composed, but the intonation allowed all to hear the fondness he held for the cloaked figure.

Sighing, Utsuro pulled her hood down to expose a gaunt face and peaceful countenance, for a few moments losing the pinched expression that normally adorned her visage. "I will escort you there." Her two companions frowned slightly at her unhealthy appearance before nodding. Nonchalantly, Touya tossed his arm around Utsuro's waist and pulled her close to him as the trio made their way up the massive stairs while Jin chattered on excitedly.

Their reunion was interrupted as Yusuke yelled out to the visiting newcomers. Jin rushed ahead to greet the hanyou whilst the other two chose to hang back, basking in the familiar warmth of the other's presence. By the time they made it up to the top of the staircase, it seemed the entirety of Team Urameshi was present to greet Touya and Jin, and they were greeted with surprised silence. Gently, Touya removed himself from Utsuro's person and greeted the team familiarly.

Eventually the group trickled inside, closely followed by Touya and Utsuro. He sent her a curious glance at her surprising inclination to socialize, to which she shrugged, "I'm not going to waste time with you." Sensing a silent addition in her voice he frowned briefly before smoothing expression; he would speak to her about it later.

In the chaos of finding seating, the ice shinobi and the terror of the Makai sat close together. By the time the noise level had dropped, everyone noticed the lack of space between the two and it became awkwardly silent

Kuwabara couldn't control himself and was the first to break the silence, "Are you two dating or something?" Emerald eyes cut to the now still fire yokai on the window seat before glancing at couple in question.

Jin looked amusedly to Utsuro. She shrugged nonchalantly, replying, "Ground rules cannot be broken."

He laughed boisterously in response. "Still goin' on 'bout tha', Utsuro?" She shrugged yet again before answering Kuwabara's question.

"Unfortunately, we are not." No one but the kitsune noticed Hiei's abrupt disappearance from the room.

After recovering from her cryptic response and sudden inclination to socialize, conversation floundered before the cheery wind yokai spoke up. "Jus' ignore them ground rules. She's harmless." Everyone felt an intense flare of irritation that dissipated as quickly as it arrived, knowing it came from Utsuro.

"Shut the fuck up, fire-crotch." No one but Jin and Touya heard the affection in her voice, but the whole group was privy to the good-humored smirk that twisted her thin lips. Yusuke and Kuwabara immediately howled in laughter as even Kurama chuckled at the pet name; Jin pouted before joining in the laughter good-naturedly.

With that, the tension lessened to a bearable degree, yet the kitsune remained nearly silent and contemplative. Two months had passed by as the rag-tag group settled into a routine: train, arguments between Yusuke and the Idiot, and ignore the outsider (Utsuro). The entire team, aside from Utsuro, had taken note of the large deviation in routine since they had settled at the temple—Hiei hardly insulted anyone; even Kuwabara. From provoking the yokai outright, to attempting to goad him into a fight, he remained mostly silent.

But Kurama had noticed more acutely the fire apparition's increased agitation and the extreme decrease in barbed remarks; the dark circles beneath crimson eyes were even more cause for concern. When he disappeared abruptly after Utsuro's off-handed comment, he began to worry more for Hiei, worried of what could make him upset enough to leave.

_She sat up slowly, holding the thin sheet to her chest loosely as she blinked confusedly. "Hiei… where're you goin'?" She slurred sleepily and he had to strain to hear her._

_"Hn. There's trouble in the east. I need to see to it." He didn't pause in pulling on his clothes to answer, keeping his back to her._

_Her lips, still red and swollen from their prior activities, pouted as she looked at him sleepily. "Can't you see 'bout it later? Sleep." He chuckled shortly, inaudibly, as he fought the desire to crawl back into bed with his mate and cradle her petite body close to his as they drifted off to sleep. He walked toward the bed while buckling his belts and seeing this, his mate dropped her head in defeat._

_He pressed his thin lips to her mating mark tenderly, murmuring, "Sleep, onna."_

Abruptly, Hiei jerked upright and nearly fell off of his tree branch, eyes wide in disbelief. He had been dreaming about _her_ and had imagined her to be his _mate._

Again. Just like _every fucking night _since he had spoken with her.

Disgusting. Absolutely horrifying.

…

_Then why the fuck was he imagining it so vividly?_

He had clearly felt the sensations of cloth against his skin, had smelt the air that contained the enticing perfume of their combined scents and hot sex. He had felt soft wisps of her hair and the temperature of her skin against his lips. He had actually felt utter contentment that he had never even dreamed of having before. It had felt so close to reality that he longed to see it again…

Scratch that. What the fuck was he thinking? No way in hell would it be possible for him to actually consider that abomination—!

Hiei clutched his stomach as agony thoroughly swept through him, nearly knocking him out of the tree for the second time that night. He cursed und his breath. Every time he though ill of that light-haired _bitch_—daggers stabbed at his heart—he would feel as if his Jagan was trying to cause him some form of physical pain—fucking thing with its own fucking mind—which only served to piss him off more. Ever since his encounter with the… onna, he had felt a strong pull. The few times it would become unbearable he would seek her out, feeling a wave of contentment wash over him as he neared her presence; it only served to bother him more and leave before she was aware of his presence. He had no clue _why_ this was happening, but he would attempt to curse her existence until his very last—

"We need to talk." The familiar sagacity that filtered through the fox's voice was mildly comforting. Especially since it jerked him from his annoying thoughts. Jumping down from his perch, Hiei leaned against the tree trunk and observed his friend coolly only to lose composure at the question that smacked him in the face. "What happened between you and Utsuro?" Upon seeing the shocked/angry reaction, he expanded, "I know you went to see her the first day—we talked today, Hiei. And from what she said, it shouldn't have had such a profound effect on you: you don't sleep well if at all and you are hardly insulting anyone which, albeit ironic, is _extremely _worrying. Today you didn't even greet Jin or Touya." At the ice demon's name Hiei flinched, which didn't escape shrewd, emerald eyes.

Hiei was silent for a few minutes before confessing quietly, "The Jagan is making me have dreams." When Kurama looked at him confusedly, he sighed before reluctantly attempting to sum up the dreams. "About… _Utsuro_," he spat the name with as much disgust as he could muster without injury, "And being _mates._" He felt his jaw clench in familiar anger and irritation when the fox's eyes lit up in realization.

"The _Jagan_ is making you have these dreams?" A tendril of disbelief was nearly tangible in Kurama's voice, making his volatile friend growl. He quickly backtracked, "What makes you so certain that this is the Jagan's doing?"

"I hold no feelings toward the _onna_." He spat the word as if it were something rancid.

"But what of her scent?" The fox's calculating gaze gleamed with a bit of wickedness, "Even I cannot deny how intriguing her scent is; it's quite unique. I'm sure that especially Touya—" The sharp edge of a katana tickling his throat and a pissed off growl cut his words off, causing him to smirk in triumph. Realizing what he had just "proven" to the fox, Hiei sheathed his weapon and continued to growl.

"That proves nothing."

"You should reevaluate what the Jagan feels and what you feel, Hiei. It can only cause a certain amount of pain, and I'm sure its specialty isn't psychological warfare." Kurama ignored the disbelieving snort. "After all, you misjudged Yusuke. Perhaps this is the same situation."

"I haven't with this, fox."

Oh, famous last words.


	4. Chapter 4

A little ways from the temple, and a certain duo, Utsuro and Touya were strolling in the forest, knowing that they were guaranteed full privacy.

"It's been hard. I've been trying to control it, but I can't."

"But you became so much better when Jin and I were with you."

Her hood was down and allowed Touya to witness her wistful smile. "I did. But it was hard after you two left."

"We told you—"

"I know. I don't hold it against you, but that isn't the real reason why you left and we know that."

"It wasn't your fault, Utsuro."

A mocking smirk twisted her lips, and her tone dripped acid, "It was entirely my fault and you know it. You just don't hold it against me." She wished that she had her hood on so she could cocoon herself from the world and not have to face the oncoming conversation. She wished she could run away, anything than having to stay where she was. But then again, she had never been blessed in her cursed life, so why the hell would someone grant her a small mercy?

"It was my fault to ignore your warning signs."

"That's the problem, Touya. The fact that I emit warning signs is not conducive to a relationship. Of any kind." They both came to a slow stop.

"Don't run away because you're scared." What the hell would Touya know? Nothing.

"My fear is valid, Touya. If you hadn't have moved, you would have been dead. Just like everyone else." A silence gently blanketed the two before male slowly embraced what should be _his_ female. The tug on her heart at this action only proved it—and she had nearly killed him. Touya pulled away slightly and looked her in the eyes.

"Why won't you let us be together, Utsuro? If you would just—"

"We can't, Touya." Her onyx eyes were filled with sorrow as she met his gaze.

"A way could be found. With some proper training, you could have control." The ice yokai looked determinedly back, and the way in which he so stubbornly sought a path for them to be together pained Utsuro greatly.

"I can't ever have complete control. The two opposing powers will continue to battle each other until I die…"

He shook her gently, "Do not say such things. Putting that out there is dangerous." She bit her top lip sharply before looking down at the ground, displaying her prominent cheekbones and sunken cheeks. Touya stared down at her once healthy features, wondering what could have happened to cause such a drastic shift in her appearance; even her hair had lost its radiance and color. As if sensing his scrutiny, she turned around abruptly and began to walk along an unseen path, navigating the forest easily as Touya rushed to catch up with her.

"What is going on, Utsuro? Why did you suddenly decide to work with the Rekai? This entire situation has been out of character of you, and you aren't the same as when I last saw you."

"Surely you've heard about this group and their primal ways." Her obvious attempt to avoid his questioning was met with little resistance, and he allowed the conversation to shift topic. Sensing this, she cast him a sharp look, letting him know that he shouldn't broadcast such weakness in the open. He returned her look drolly before responding, disregarding her needless concern.

"On the contrary, I have heard almost nothing."

Utsuro scoffed lightly, slightly glad that he had allowed the shift in topic, "You know that necessity dictates I keep my ears to the ground. From what I've heard, these guys are almost too much for the Makai to handle—and their strength will only increase…" Her companion motioned for her to continue and she did so reluctantly. "They're sucking souls of A-class and S-class demons. Soon enough they will be powerful enough to take over the Makai and, eventually, they might be able to take over the Reikai."

"Yet you don't care about anyone's souls. Why would you…?" Well excuse her for not giving a shit about people she didn't know. It wasn't that she didn't possess "humanity," she just couldn't bother herself with concerns of others when she had bigger issues at hand.

She glared at him in response. "You and Jin are S-class, you think they won't go after you?" At his confusion, she sighed, "I'm doing this to protect you two. Believe it or not, if this group continues, they will go after you and more likely than not they will succeed. With every soul they become more powerful and eventually they will become unstoppable."

"So why not go after them yourself?"

She scoffed. "Contrary to popular belief, I am not an idiot. I would lose if I were to go on my own. There are too many demons involved, and by the time I would get past the nearly endless amount of minions I would be out of energy."

Touya narrowed his eyes, "There is more to your motives—don't think I can't read you because it has been a few years."

Utsuro sighed and looked away. "I'm… dying. You see how bad it's progressed, Touya."

"… What? Why are you dying?" His face was frozen in its impenetrable mask, but she glimpsed at the forced disbelief in his eyes.

"You know why."

"That is no excuse for giving up." He defaulted back to the icy persona, unwilling to face the truth of the matter.

"Touya." Utsuro impatiently brushed her bangs aside so she could look him properly in the eyes like he deserved—after all, he had never minded their soulless depth. "It's not giving up—it's finding the best way to go out with hurting the least amount of people. We knew this from the beginning and that is the only reason we are not mates. I was not meant to live as long as I have—"

"You are only seventy-five, you can live longer," he stubbornly refuted, but she knew that he was more than aware of the futility of his arguments. But she cared for him, so she would allow him to argue as he pleased.

"This 'mission' is the only way to wash the blood off of my hands. I need to do this, especially since I would finally be of use with the destruction I cause."

Watching his face struggle to keep the indifferent look pasted on, her heart panged at the thought of leaving him behind. But it was for the best, and since it _was_ for the best, she wouldn't tell him about the blank check of a promise from Koenma, or what she would ask for. After all, if he couldn't handle her death, then she refused to pain him more by telling him of her plans to have her soul destroyed.

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><p><strong>(AN)**

**I would like to apologize for the delay in this chapter. My life kinda blew up in my face, so I had a lot of cleaning up to do. Anyway, I apologize for the lackluster length, but this was what I had stored for the next chapter, so this was what I could do.**

**For some reason, fanfiction is harder for me to make all lengthy and purple-prose-y.**

**This chapter is dedicated to kungfupandbear for being a fabulous reviewer, and AbyssTales, since I told her I would update soon and then updated about a month later. Sorry!**


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